"Elka makes her decision about who she wants to marry."
"A woman from Lansing, MI believes her daughter is the product of an on again/off again relationship, but the alleged father says there have been too many lies for him to believe it."
"A Las Vegas woman claims a short but passionate relationship with a now-married man resulted in her 3-year-old son. He denies paternity."
Peanut discloses that he's illiterate. In kind, Malik sets out to teach him how to grasp the written word. Elsewhere, Dana and Kiki have eyes for a handsome new stylist at the barbershop.
The eldest Hernandez son returns home from Iraq. In barbershop developments, Floyd's extensive time spent at a casino comes back to haunt him.
"An exhausted Molly wants Mike to help her out with Thanksgiving preparations and wedding planning."
"Fourth-grade teacher Molly Flynn meets, and falls for, police officer Mike Biggs at Overeaters Anonymous and asks him to talk to her class."
"Suzanne secretly buys herself a purse after Nick refuses to make the purchase."
"The entire family plays pranks on one another, to the chagrin of Suzanne. But when the family ignores Nick's choking because they think it's another prank, Nick has a near-death experience and embraces his Zen side."
After being locked in a crate by Peter, James Woods returns to seek revenge by stealing Peter’s identity and taking over as head of the Griffin household; Peter then sets out to ruin James’ career.
A visit from Adam's (Oliver Hudson) free-spirited mother (guest star Peggy Lipton) puts Jennifer's (Bianca Kajlich) patience to the test and teaches Russell (David Spade) an embarrassing lesson about "art". Meanwhile, Jeff (Patrick Warburton) and Audrey (
George tries two more approaches with the unemployment officer. Kramer gets Jerry to accompany him to see a former neighbors' new baby, "you got to see the baby." Though he's gone out with Keith once, does that mean he must help him move. Elaine and Keith
Kramer is active in the re-opening of an old movie theater. He also is keeping an eye on a friend, Lloyd, who's recovering from a nervous breakdown. Lloyd has a pack of Chinese gum that Kramer insists everyone tries. George thinks the cashier short-change
Carrie soon grows tired of Doug's forcing his new vegetarian lifestyle down her throat. Meanwhile, Carrie's boss wants to start discussing novels with her, and Spence takes on some humiliating new jobs.
Doug gets pulled into a water filter scheme thanks to his neighbors.
"Victoria becomes a speaker on an all-gay cruise to speak about her "relationship" with Joy; however, she and Joy both fall for the ship's captain (Gilles Marini). Meanwhile, Melanie runs into her sister (Laura San Giacamo) on the cruise, and not only discovers that her sister is a lesbian, but also must now pretend to be a lesbian herself to stay on the cruise."
"Virginia and Burt encourage Jimmy to make up a girlfriend in order to make Sabrina jealous in order to shake up her relationship with Wyatt. While attending a class with Barney, Jimmy meets Mary-Louise who then agrees to play along with his plot until the entire thing starts blowing up in Jimmy's face."
Another end-of-the-year paintball war pits the study group members against each other for a $100,000 prize. But when a mysterious challenger (guest star Josh Holloway) suddenly appears, they must join forces to stop him.
"Jules has fallen out of love with her job, and decides to find a new vocation. Andy mocks Travis and Laurie for their hipster artist tendencies. Bobby and Ellie find unexpected success running a burger van."